Tag Archives: Marshawn Lynch

SB XLIX Preview: 5 Keys to Victory

Are you “About that action, Boss” or do you prefer your balls on the wrong side of “Deflate-gate”?

Since #FF15 isn’t starting for a good long while, let’s do a rundown of a few of the finer points of championship football.  I’m talking the real ‘ship this time.  Statistics on paper won’t count for much when the lame duck pigskins start fluttering around this Sunday.

First and foremost, I believe I can predict with a high accuracy that this will be a competitive game.  There will be no repeat performance of the blowout of XLVIII.  One year ago, we saw what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.  There will be no opposites attack story-line here.  Each team who made it to the “Big Game” in 2015 is well rounded enough to put up a great fight all the way to the end.  Vegas seems to agree (for those who care) and the point spread is a narrow margin of 2.  It’s going to be a knock down drag out.  Unlock the keys after the jump:

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An Ode to Beast Mode

Oh Beast Mode my Beast Mode
Can your ferociousness ever be slowed?
The return of the Beast Quake has us all impressed.
Silent are those who say you’ve regressed.
From the whole league, heaps of accolades are to be owed.

Beast quake, that Beast Quake
All the announcer could exclaim was “Oh goodness sake”
That was no aftershock, it shook the whole nation.
The richer scale bounced in the local geo-station.
That celebration was better than a handshake.

All mortals share a fear of this Beast.
Skittles, they fuel him, so his rampage never shall cease.
These tremors, they cause the Pacific Northwest to erode.
Like Mount Saint Helens no one knows the next time Lynch will explode.
Mere mortals who doubt him are devoured in a feast.